The ability to engage in dialogue is a key skill required by leaders for building and maintaining relationships. It is the glue that holds people and organisations together. Good dialogue involves talking with our body, emotions, intellect and spirit. Listening is a crucial element of effective dialogue.

To have an authentic dialogue it is necessary for the participants to be in a mind-set of discovery. Such discovery, however, takes work; it is often easier, especially in a business environment, for people to get into a debate or an argument, either seeking the right answer or to prove a point.

A Culture of Collaboration
Dialogue is about shared inquiry, a way of thinking and reflecting. It is not something you do to another person; it is something you do with another person. It requires a shift in mind-set about what the relationship with the other person means. The focus is on understanding the other person, not only on making them understand you.

Dialogue is an exchange in which people think together and discover something new. The depth of dialogue brings the participants to a different level, where they come to a deeper understanding of each other.

In a dialogue, we want to keep a connection with the person to whom we are speaking. True dialogue also involves questioning and sharing doubt, as opposed to debating. Debating is when we look at the issue with a closed mind, which can easily lead to disagreement.

In times of constant change and increasing complexity, we need to take into account our growing interdependence, and dialogue takes us there. Dialogue is an important means of developing a culture of collaboration, and creative dialogue can also be used as a means to search for new ideas, ultimately leading to innovations in any field. Perhaps most important, dialogue is key to resolving differences and conflict.

Here is an example of true dialogue. Whole Foods CEO John Mackey was heckled at an annual meeting by an animal rights activist. In an effort to quiet the activist but avoid a scene, he agreed to a personal dialogue with the shareholder. In the end he discovered some key weaknesses in his company’s policies regarding animal products and became a firm proponent of many of the activist’s positions. At the same time, he converted an opponent into a vocal advocate for Whole Foods. His turnabout has been celebrated by the press and likeminded customers, and the Whole Foods brand has only become stronger as a result of Mackey’s ability to engage in dialogue.

The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth
In reality, no one person has “the truth,” but when people believe they already know everything, they derive no benefit from dialogue. One can have only a perception, an interpretation, or a subjective part of the truth. To move beyond subjectivity, leaders must have the skills to engage in dialogue, to decide, and to act, all the while bearing in mind that one needs to know when to limit dialogue. The ultimate question is whether all viewpoints, especially opposing or minority opinions, have been heard.

Many people have no idea how to express themselves in a dialogue, and someone unable to build a positive bond may speak with words that carry fear, anger or sadness. How can you tell when someone is doing this? It shows up, quite simply, in behaviour, and manifests itself as coercion, aggression, anxiety, low energy and detachment.

People unable to build a positive bond are argumentative; they interrupt without listening, defend, and think ahead, and the end result is that dialogue is blocked. For others, talking becomes a habit, a ritual rather than a personal exchange. When we are actually aware and engaged while talking, something different happens beyond just repeating memories to fill in silence. Thinking is about seeing something new, and seeing the potential or the possibilities.

The Leader’s Tool
True leadership means dealing with conflict effectively. Dialogue can help resolve everyday issues large and small in the business world. Dialogue creates an atmosphere in which mutual needs are recognised, common interests are understood, and solutions to conflicts are discovered.

Everyone, leaders included, must express what they need, want, feel, and think, and also listen to what the others need, want, feel, and think. By learning to recognise and change blocks to dialogue, we can move our conversations into productive, efficient and respectful dialogues.

	Professor George Kohlrieser is an internationally recognised expert on leadership. He is Dean of Faculty and Head of Research at The ICLIF Leadership and Governance Centre and is Professor of Leadership and Organisational Behaviour at IMD (International Institute for Management Development) in Lausanne, Switzerland.
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