Swartz : Learning to communicate effectively and constructively is a powerful skill to have in life. Whether we are speaking with a prospective client, a current customer, a co-worker or a family member, when we use our words in healthy ways, positive outcomes can more easily occur.

Healthy communications includes following a few basic rules. These are very simple in theory yet they can be tricky in application. You can include the following ideas to create a healthier response as you become aware of both the words that you speak and of your own internal thoughts which occur automatically.

SPEAK IN THE AFFIRMATIVE. State what you want to have happen rather than what you don't want to have happen. This creates a more constructive outcome for everyone involved, including yourself. For example, "Please don't be late for our meeting today" tells the mind what not to do. Subconsciously, this is received as "Be late for our meeting." Instead you can say, "Please be on time for our meeting today." This tells the mind what we want to have happen and it makes it easier for us to respond in a favourable way.

SPEAK IN THE PRESENT TENSE. The subconscious mind only recognises "now" time; the past is already over and the future hasn't yet arrived. Effective communications occur when we speak in the present tense. Eliminate words such as "going to" or "will." These words place the idea in the future and as far as the subconscious mind is concerned, it never happens. When the future arrives, it becomes now!

For example, when you say, "I'm going to take care of that report later," it can create a feeling of having something hanging over you. For some people this can even make them feel nervous or anxious. Certainly these feelings are unnecessary and counterproductive. Instead, you can say, "I take care of the report at the best time for me. I trust myself to finish the report on time." This statement is proactive and creates a feeling of being in control of the situation. It is also a good idea to eliminate the word "try" from our vocabulary since the word "try" implies that we might fail. Rather than setting ourselves up with a subconscious expectation of failure, we can say, "I do the best I can to create a successful outcome."

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	Roberta Swartz is an author, speaker and instructor. Roberta is Director of the Hypnotism Centre of Western Montana Inc.