Otherwise, let’s just recall that a wise man once remarked that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different outcomes borders on insanity. We learned in school (science and math classes) that when we put the same elements together in certain ways, we can predict the outcomes with almost absolute certainty. And yet, we live our everyday lives as if we are immune to these simple laws of action and consequence.

“Cogito ergo sum (I think, therefore I am)”~ Descartes
NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) practitioners tell us that we tell ourselves in our heads determines how we behave, and recognising that not all that we tell ourselves is true can unlock our potential in many areas. Cognitive behavioural psychologists study ways to modify behavior by changing thought patterns. Our thought patterns are like well-worn railroad tracks - nothing short of a decisive determined mental overhaul would change the pathways. Psychologists tell us that it is not the event that determines the quality of the outcome but how we choose to respond to the event. Well-meaning columnists and armchair coaches advocate “Go in with an open mind”. “Adopt a warm and positive approach”. Generally, these media articles are silent on the how-to.

Coaches help clients to move forward towards their desired goals by asking powerful direct self-reflective questions and encouraging clients to find the resources to achieve those goals from within. So here’s one way to move from intention and thinking towards action and results. I ask you lots of questions and you come up with your own answers. In this way, you will find out what you want and what you are willing to do, and then you decide whether or not to do what you think you need to do.

Know Your Purpose
My favorite professor used to ask ‘so what’ questions in response to our ‘well-thought out’ plans and proposals. The question is aimed at making us think further and wider to discover the true value or purpose of our quest. What do you seek? What is the desired outcome? What are your expectations? Are you thinking long term, medium term or short term? What are you aiming to achieve?

The Event
An event is a given set of circumstances that happens. There is inherently nothing good or bad in an event. Whether it is good or bad depends on what we believe will happen as a consequence of the event.

Examine Your Thoughts
What is your initial reaction? What do you believe will happen next? What if that belief is disputable? Beliefs stir up emotional content in thought – fear, anger, envy, disgust, sorrow, joy or surprise. What is the worst thing that can happen? How likely would that be? In terms of progressing towards your Goal and in terms of your Purpose, how does this score on a scale of 1 to 10? Do you have any control over your circumstances? What needs to happen for you to have control? We always have a choice – change or be changed by our circumstances.

Choose Your Response
What are your options for responding to the Event? Note that having a growth mindset ie taking the stance that things can change and putting in effort matters, is a definite plus for creative thinking and energy-building. On the other hand, taking the perspective that ability and circumstances are immutable (a fixed mindset) jams your system and traps you. What are three possible responses you could make? What do you expect the outcomes to be? Rank order or evaluate each option in terms of progress towards your Goal and fulfillment of your Purpose. Which one comes up closest to your Goal? Nothing is impossible. Just because it has not been done before does not mean it cannot be done. Imagine life without mobile phones and internet!

Take Action
It is good to think and plan. It is even better to take action to move closer to desired outcomes – one step at a time. When you know why you are doing what you are doing, you are ready to face any challenge. We don’t need a crystal ball when we have an inner compass to guide us. Doing nothing is actually doing something when it is your best response. When assailed by self-doubt, ask yourself: What am I afraid of? What am I doing? Who am I being? What if I was not afraid and anything is possible, what would I do differently? Am I being authentic? Does what I do reflect who I really am or whom I say I am? Tip: Other people matter. Remember that you matter too. Build a support network and share your plans with others. Making our plans public allows others to partner with us for success and makes it hard for us to chicken out.

Follow through
Be mindful and attentive. Your choice of action (or inaction) will bring on consequences. Things do not always turn out the way we expect them to – at least not immediately. The tough question when things get rough is whether to dig in our heels or change our course. Some just rant and make a fuss. Others are defeated by “I told you so” and self-doubt. Be resilient and persevere. Goal mastery is fulfilling because we grow stronger and become wiser with each challenge we meet. Re-visit your Goal/Purpose. Consider if your actions facilitate your moving forward. Think of it as a feedback loop and an opportunity to refine your approach. Like Thomas Edison, look at your unsuccessful attempts as lessons on how not to do something and be encouraged - look at what a difference the electric light bulb has made to our world!

Zander in The Art of Possibility tells the tale of two marketing scouts from a shoe factory sent to Africa to study the prospects for business expansion. One sends back a telegram saying SITUATION HOPELESS STOP NO ONE WEARS SHOES. The other writes back triumphantly, GLORIOUS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY STOP THEY HAVE NO SHOES. To the first scout, all evidence points to a hopeless situation (‘downward spiral thinking’) while the same conditions spark off excitement at the possibilities and abundant potential available. Each brings his own perspective to the scene, selectively picking up information that feed into their mental map of the world, and returns with a different story. Who will be successful? Who will you choose to join your team? Which one are you? What will your story be?