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OPINION
How
Do You Deal with Hell in the Hallway?
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Sandra Ford Walston |
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Oct 09 | During
a career transition has anyone ever said this phrase to you :
“One door closes and the next door opens”? Well, if
you’re about to lose your job, change industries, reluctantly
move to another state, or interview for the first time in ten
years, that goodwill statement probably doesn’t make you
feel better. Do you know why? The real issue is not about whether
the door is opening or closing, but how you deal with hell in
the hallway!
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Sandra
Ford Walston, The Courage Expert, innovator of STUCKThinking™,
is an organizational effectiveness/ learning consultant,
speaker,
corporate trainer and courage coach, specialising
in understanding women’s leadership issues,
courage behaviors, individual personalities and leadership
styles that focus on the tricks and traps of the human
condition.
Sandra
is the internationally published author of bestseller
“COURAGE: The Heart and Spirit of Every Woman.”
Her second book is currently agent represented. Sandra
writes for “Chief
Learning Officer” and “Strategic
Finance” magazines, and she posts a monthly
Courage Blog
on her own her own site and for PINK
magazine and successtelevision.com.
Sandra provides skill-based programs for public and
private businesses, including Caterpillar, Inc., Auburn
University, Procter & Gamble, Wyoming Department
of Health Public Nurses, Farmers Insurance, Wide Open
West and Hitachi Consulting. She is a Newfield Network
Coach.
Ms.
Walston is qualified to administer and interpret the
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® and is certified
as an Enneagram
teacher and she enjoys applying insights from both
systems to her work. With over eleven years of experience
with finance professionals, she instructs for the
University of Denver Graduate Tax Program Continuing
Professional Education courses and she formerly taught
for the Colorado Society of CPAs.
Her
Home Page is www.sandrawalston.com
or sign up for her courage blog.
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Don’t
get me wrong; sometimes the door that closes is a good one, such
as when you receive a six month severance package, transfer your
skills to a new department, or complete a certificate that will
add a new “star” to your resume. Many times the closed
door represents a pink slip, being passed over for a promotion,
or coming to grips with a new leader that hires his/her “people.”
During these times, unawareness takes over (versus consciousness)
and you find yourself heaving the next door open by jamming your
foot in the doorway. You are determined (until hell freezes over)
to put a square peg into a round hole (even if it kills you!). You
might even be vaguely aware that if you are using force, it’s
probably not the right opportunity or choice for you.
Hell in the hallway flushes out your courageous
intentions. Women, in particular, seem to hold themselves to a high
benchmark thus creating undo pressure. If they don’t make
it, they don’t think of themselves as capable or courageous.
What’s important is to recognise that there is a direct correlation
between your success quotient and your courage quotient. People
who dissect the professional steps in their lives can underscore
if they are stepping up or staying fixed on one step. An ancient
Chinese proverb says, “He who hesitates before each step spends
his life on one leg.”
Stepping up to your next career advancement is similar to climbing
a standard six-foot ladder. The first step on the ladder is low
and wide. Each consecutive step becomes higher and narrower. Near
the top of the ladder, the ascent can get a little shaky as the
steps taper. This is where blame takes over or complacency settles
in. A courageous person observant, reevaluates what is true and
vital, then summons their courage. . . and steps up. By courage,
I mean integrating, claiming and relying on the original definition:
“heart and spirit.” One of the behaviours of courage
is to hold yourself 100% accountable for your choices. Every choice
you make has great consequence and these choices reverberate throughout
your life—to the very end!
Recall and list some of the times you found yourself
in the hallway? Are you in the hallway now? If so, what’s
going on? Many times if force is being used it’s not the right
option and you’re not coming from a place of Courage Centering.
There are times when the door opens right away, such as being recruited
out of college or having an advocate employed in the company where
you hope to work. In my experience, most advancement in consciousness
came while I was in the hallway. Many of my clients say they discovered
their “calling” during those lonely screams or sleepless
nights in the hallway. Depressed and scared, they were truly not
in the mood to reinvent themselves one more time (one of the 12
behaviours of courage). My calling came to me while I was pacing
in the hallway: I was supposed to conduct research on the behaviors
of courage and author books and present on the subject. Yikes! I
was neither a writer nor a journalist.
Most people don’t have a clue about their calling or what
makes their heart sing. Think about a time and an issue around which
you found yourself animated. Animation is an energy that makes you
feel alive in your core—in your heart. There’s a good
chance that encounter, perhaps nearly forgotten, was your calling.
It will now require the virtue (from Latin, meaning “energy”)
of courage to make it come alive!
Do you choose to stay on the same rung of the ladder
during a career transition because you’re in the hallway?
Will you choose the courage killer—complacency? Giving yourself
permission to claim and apply your courage halts self-righteousness
and prepares you to activate your authenticity. It’s a perfect
starting place if you want to multiply your talents and effectiveness,
define with clarity what is vital in your life and what is not,
and escalate your work.
Your career transition or advancement is not outside your control.
Courage is a joyful essence that supports you to be “real”
during times of uncertainty. It allows you to embrace new dilemmas,
overcome reluctance and rise above ambivalence. This is the time
to embrace your reservoir of courage and step up.
After all, courage isn’t something you stumble
upon as you round the corner of the cubicle at the office. It is
a practical tool, consciously chosen by authentic people in defining
moments. Get out of the hallway: Alter your professional destiny
with courage. 
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