All these things have only served to cause greater tension and doubt among the employees. Gina knows that management can play a more proactive role in how it is managing the situation but given the number of issues that they are battling, dealing with employee outlook appears to be of the least concern. But Gina is aware that letting this situation persist will only weaken the employer/employee relationship and cause further loss, economic and otherwise. She feels that it is her role to help manage this situation proactively. Actively coaching both employees and the various lines of management to achieve her end results is what she is aiming for. But coaching is not really her forte and she needs guidance as to how to start.

A good starting point
An important but not always obvious place to start is for Gina to get really clear about what her end result looks like. Where specifically does she want to move to? What is her vision? Who does it involve? When does she sense it can be achieved? How will she feel when it has been achieved? A creative approach to this would be for Gina to go somewhere away from work, (100% of executives reported all their best ideas came when they were away from their desks!) ideally in nature and draw a picture of her desired outcome. The key here is, as Stephen Covey says, to begin with the end in mind. In coaching, time invested in this stage is key. It can frequently allow the rest of the plan to fall in to place.

A Police Inspector, who was ready for a change of career, and who like Gina, knew his current situation was unsatisfactory and that change needed to happen, like Gina, had the motivation and commitment to take action. When we deeply went in to his vision and he had time to dwell on it between coaching sessions, it all became clear, suddenly one morning. He knew beyond doubt, that what he wanted to do was to become a Human Rights Lawyer. Once that had become clear he was easily able to identify his priorities and start moving towards his desired outcome. The trick is having the confidence to dedicate quiet focused time on the outcome and stay with it until it becomes clear. The coach provides direction and clarity to enable the coachee to work through the ideas and allow their vision to surface.

Focus on the employee or on the different managers ?
You’d need to do some coaching to work this one out. The temptation, when asked a question like this, is to launch forth with an opinion or answer. However, it really isn’t helpful to the coaching process to do so. Coaching is about moving the coachee forward in their own meaning and decision-making. With astute questions and summaries from a coach, the answer will take shape for her. The advantage is that Gina then has true ownership of her plan and the clarity and confidence about how to implement it. Coaching is not about telling the coachee what to do or making decisions for them. Advice is generally best left until after all avenues have been explored and offered with a request such as ‘would it be helpful if I suggested a few options’. The coach is really ‘in service to’ the coachee rather than our traditional view of management where the manager tells the subordinate what to do.

The other thing about a question like this is that it raises the nature of 50/50, either/or, questions. There may be more options than just those two presented above. A helpful contribution a coach can make is in exploring other options, helping the coachee see the situation from a variety of perspectives. Much of coaching is about widening the window of personal awareness and building a broader vision.

A highly competent Chief Financial Officer said that although she loved her job, she always struggled when it came to giving presentations. On the surface one might think it was a matter of developing presentation skills. However, through coaching she realised it was no lack of presentation skills that was blocking her, but her perception that people were watching and waiting for her to go red. When given the opportunity to explore what else her audience may be thinking, she completely overcame the problem. For her, simply seeing the situation from a different perspective, made the whole issue dissolve!

Dealing with management
Gina also needs to figure out her game plan with management. Should she have a different plan for the different business unit managers, should she find a change agent or perhaps she should find someone who believes and will support her endeavour. I believe this raises some interesting coaching points. First, look at the word ‘should’, which suggests a sense of obligation and duty. Coaching is very much about connecting with someone at a deep trusting level where we go beyond obligation and duty to explore what does someone really think and feel and knows to be true for themselves. So making the choice between a range of options becomes easier and clearer.

After several weeks of coaching with Jim, a General Manager, Jim acknowledged that he was behaving in a way he felt he should rather than being true to what he really felt. This honesty moved the coaching forward as it gave Jim a window on what it was in himself that was blocking a relationship with a colleague. So a question Gina may find helpful (once she has a clear vision) is ‘Talk me through what you really feel are the pros and cons of these options’ or ‘Let’s explore other options you think might work’ or (taking a creative approach) ‘What would ensure your plan definitely fails … and if we reverse that, what innovative ideas might that offer?’

You see, questions are a coach’s main tool. So framing powerful questions that prompt people to pause and begin thinking in fresh ways are really helpful. There are a couple of tips on questions. Firstly, keep them brief, crisp and clear – one point per question. Secondly, questions that begin with ‘what’ or ‘tell me more’ or ‘expand on that’ are effective in getting a coachee’s thoughts flowing. If you really want a coachee to find their own answer use open questions rather than leading questions i.e. ‘Which option would be best?’ is better than ‘Would the 2nd option be the best?’ or ‘What help would a change agent give?’ is better than ‘Would a change agent really help?’

A fun exercise to do is to observe the types of questions you ask as you go through your day. Keep a journal and make notes every day about five conversations you’ve had. Do this for two weeks. One manager who did this, noticed she had a habit of almost always asking closed questions i.e. ones that only required a yes or no answer. She realised she probably did this because it was quicker and allowed her to get on with the task in hand. So she decided to see the impact of changing her style a little and consciously asking more open questions i.e. ones that prompt a fuller answer. To her surprise, she found others offered more help, gave her valuable information and more trust was being established.

Addressing communication action or behaviour
In managing this issue, you’re bound to wonder which of these needs to be addressed – is it the communication, action or the behaviours? This is actually a good question for the coachee! Quite often, if you are a manager (paid to make decisions) and you are taking on a coaching role, it can be challenging to suspend judgement. However, for the coachee to succeed, they need to have ownership of their decisions and it is the coach’s job to support that. The answer that may seem entirely logical and obvious to the coach may not be the right answer at all for the coachee. And the coach needs to be alert and sensitive to that. Or if it is the right answer and the coachee has a blind spot, it is about creating the conditions for discovery in a skilful, natural and supportive way.

Robert wanted to become a counsellor. Yet, for some reason wouldn’t take the first step to explore what training was available to him. It seemed clear to his coach that the local library, the internet, friends, career office would be possible starting points but he took no action. The reason Robert took no action was because other issues were standing in his way i.e. self-confidence and self esteem. So, in this case, coaching was helpful as, through a relationship of trust and honest exchange, he was able to get to the bottom of what the block was. Then the way became clear to move forward, know more clearly what was motivating him and his readiness and capacity for action.

Quick wins for Gina
Are there quick wins? Well, if quick wins are what Gina feels she needs to move the project forward, then exploring how to achieve those would be an area for discussion. Eliciting her ideas of what they may be, how she might achieve them. She will need something to give her the momentum and confidence to keep pursuing this. You may have noticed everything we have discussed so far has dealt with ideas and thinking. A whole area of coaching discussions can take place around how we experience situations in our bodies. Confidence is an emotional and physically experience. Raising awareness of what confidence specifically feels like can be hugely helpful i.e. Where in the body do you feel it? What situations trigger those feelings? What part of your system tells you that your confidence is dropping? What postures, breathing patterns, physical situations make you feel most confident?

A client realised she had a tendency to walk around with her eyes cast downward. To change this habit, her coach designed a 21-day behavioural practice for her. The practice was to walk around with her eyes looking ahead and journal daily on what happened as a result of doing that. What she found was that she began to see people and events she had not noticed before, people engaged with her in a different way, it boosted her confidence in herself and meant her breathing was deeper and more energising.

The meaning of coaching
Coaching means developing another string to the management bow. It turns traditional hierarchical management on its head. In so far as rather than being the controller and feeling responsible for motivating the team, coaching is about taking an interest in and developing others and being in service to their ability to perform. Coaching is about seeing the best in them, being courageous enough to take risks, to be patient enough to put development on an equal footing as financial viability, it demands selflessness and an ability to live with ambiguity, speak one’s mind in a clear and calm way, be able to be part of a team and yet be true to oneself. Not much!! Ha ha! Oh yes, and have a sense of humour and be able to accept oneself and others as we really are.

The CEO of a UK based International Management Development Company said “coaching, at it’s best, is invisible”. What he meant by that is that when our relationships are healthy and balanced, we display a natural interest and care for the growth and development of others. So coaching is not another performance management system, it is a way of being with others. A way of interacting.

Throughout this process, Gina may have a desire for specific outcomes. But the question is whether this desire will prevent Gina from exploring coaching in its true form. Desire here is really the keyword. Whenever we fixate about something in the future, we lose touch with what life is all about. To quote Eckhart Tolle, ‘the present moment is the only place where life happens’. Unless we are able to be with that, we are forever living in a state of unease. Of course, we can set outcomes, but it is the lightness with which we hold them that determines the difference in the quality of our coaching and effectiveness.

The most successful coaching interactions I have experienced have been those where we have genuinely been honest, open, relaxed and yet focused. I often wonder whether coaching is just another way of teaching us to be more with life. Peter was engaged to look at the internal communications of a company and advise the board on his recommendations for improvement. Peter spent several months working really hard and investing considerably more time than he was paid for on the project. When the time came for him to present his findings and recommendations to the Board, he was dismayed to find that some of his ideas appeared to be tossed aside. He became demoralised and disillusioned and felt his time had been wasted. Through coaching, Peter realised he had become attached to a certain outcome – he had expected the board to accept all his ideas. He had done his best and enjoyed the work up until the Board’s reaction. When he let go of the outcome, it released him to focus on what was in front of him. He was then able to move forward in a more balanced and effective way.

Does coaching need to be non judgemental? Well, I think coaching is driven by something more subtle. There are principles and processes; however, the magic of coaching comes from a deeper, more intuitive place. An ability to be in tune with the flow of what is happening and be carried along rather than trying to over-control life. The drawback with judgement is that it so often stems from an ego-centred source and can be self-serving. Coaching is essentially, more about serving something bigger than us.